What is Blossoming?

Blossoming to me isn't merely the act of growing and expanding, but the realization of knowing that you are changing for the better. Internally, of course, because your outward appearance has nothing to do with blossoming for me, personally. That's called puberty. Blossoming is a culmination of the knowledge you gain, people you meet, etc., along the way and what you decide to do with those things. If you decide to utilize them to the fullest, positive things will start to happen around you. But when you really start to realize what's happening, something inside you starts to change and before (or after) it snowballs into bigger and better things, you grasp what's going on and say to yourself, "Ok, I'm going through some stuff." This "stuff" is the catalyst for your future and when you realize that, congratulations, you're blossoming.

What I've been up to

Its been a while since I've written, mainly due to my crazy schedule I've been trying to tame over the past few weeks. Between school, the ridiculous amounts of research for the magazine, and the hours I put into the job, there's barely time to spend watching tv. In addition to that, I've been more involved on campus than I ever was in the past. This includes videotaping events inside the business school, attending various meetings, and coming up I will be doing a welcome speech for a group of people in a panel discussion which takes a certain amount of preparation. When I see people I haven't seen in a while, I always make it a point to mention a few of these things so they don't think I've been sitting around the house doing nothing. I'm probably more busy than the average person that I grew up with or went to high school with, so I make sure to let them know this within the first minute or so of seeing them. I don't think of it as being higher than or conceited or anything like that, I just know that people talk, and since they do talk, I'd rather them speak highly of me than anything else. On the outside, it seems pretty superficial (and maybe it is), but in all actuality, it's my life, and how far I get in it depends on the amount of quality connections I can make. And God, of course.

Butterflies

I'm sitting here right now, waiting on my interviewer to finish up with the current interviewee so I can get in there. I am interviewing for a spot to go to the Thurgood Marshall College Fund conference in New York, NY this October. If I get it, it will be my first time in New York, and I think it will be a great experience...if I get it. Right now, I'm pretty calm, although I am pounding away at this keyboard like my life depended on it.  I love to write, this is why I'm doing this now. Also, I wanted to pull my Mac out and kind of stand out from the crowd, while hopefully displaying my nonchalantness at the same time. My nerves are going at full speed right now as the time for me to step into the limelight inches closer. Being the very last student to interview for this spot, maybe I'll stand out a little bit more. I'm hyped up on coffee and I am ready to go. Try and stop me.

Relationships

I'm sitting here watching Titanic for the first time, and it has me thinking about mortality, but mainly what it must be like to know that death is imminent; to know that you only have a short time left here on this earth. life is all about relationships you go through, and there is probably a direct correlation between the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships. As those relationships come and go, pieces of you die away and are reborn oftentimes stronger than before.

So to switch gears a little bit, I would like to give my thought on love. Sure, I've been in love before, and I think being in love is one of the greatest things a person can experience during their lifetime. Everyone wants to find that one person to fall in love with and have a happily ever after, but is that the way it always happens? Or do you simply find a person that you like that you can tolerate for more than 20 minute at a time? I'm only saying this because my friend and I were having this conversation a couple months ago. I completely disagree with his point of view, and I do think everyone was meant to fall in love with that one person, its just the way you handle that relationship, and the choices you make that will determine how it works out for you. I don't believe in settling in any aspect of life, especially when it deals with relationships.

It is quite funny

It's pretty funny that all of last year, I couldn't land a job to save my life, and now only a month into the year, I have a job, internship (both downtown if I haven't mentioned it before) another potential job, and a potential internship. Anyway, the next post will probably be something from one of my favorite writing websites.

Reverb '11

The creativity that comes from the minds of the Reverb crew is truly extraordinary. I am very excited to
start reverb11 prompts and hopefully they will keep me writing everyday. That said, here's the first one:

One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living? Are there any prompts/questions that arose during #reverb10 that are still resonating in your life? Are you living new questions?

2010 was a year filled with many more questions than any one man could ever answer. But as I settle in to this new year, most of those questions have been answered, and a new set of questions arose. But these type of questions are the ones that I prefer more than the previous ones. These questions are more exceptional in nature; for example, Will I have time for another internship, on top of my job and internship I already have? Only a month ago, I didn't have an internship or a job, and now I have been offered ones that I can't even fit into my schedule. Life is filled with questions of all sizes and the answers you find to these questions will provide the frame for your life. I've always followed my curiosity, and this has both answered questions, and created new ones. Just as long as the questions get more advanced and I keep learning along the way, I'm satisfied. 

Busy, busy, busy

Never in my 22 years on this earth have I been so busy. And it's every single day of the week, full schedule, all out stuff. My agenda is pretty much full every day. Between work, internship research and interviews, and being a full time college student, I barely have time for myself. But...I've always told myself that I would love to work downtown and both my new job and the internship are in the middle of downtown, which I absolutely love. I'd rather be really busy than really bored because I'm continuing to move forward, so until tomorrow, laters.

New Job

I am happy to say that I just got a new job working with a local legal firm that deals with mainly low-income families and individuals. I'm going to be working on their website and making it better. It's really awesome because I set my own hours and spend some time working with technology at a desk. It's funny because I have a job and an internship doing two things that I love to do. Now the only piece that's missing is a fashion internship...hmm

The Beast that is...Facebook

After almost a year after me deactivating my Facebook account, I was finally lured back into the jaws of the beast today. I will be managing a Facebook account for my business school, so I figured I may as well be on there to do my job to best of my ability. Or at least that's how I justified it to myself. I spent about 2 or 3 hours on there today, but only because I didn't have anything else better to do. Hopefully it won't take over my life like it has to so many other people, because starting tomorrow I will actually have things to do. And the weirdest thing about it was, Facebook kept all my information, friends, messages, everything, so my account was never really deleted, but simply deactivated. So after deleting about 150 people from my digital life, I was ready to roll.

Internship

I'm currently doing an internship with a local magazine, which I had never heard of before starting there. And even though it's an unpaid internship, I could not be more happy with the experience. First of all, it's downtown; which has to be my favorite area in the city. There's just so much life downtown, unlike the rest of the city. Then, the first day I walked in, I was greeted by two of the nicest people I have ever come in contact with, probably because they're getting free help, but nonetheless, it was awesome. Just a few days ago, the editor invited me to their planning meeting along with the assistant editor, lead photographer, and design artist (who also plays in a local band!) This was my first experience in a "real" meeting  where people are bouncing ideas off of each other that will eventually come to fruition somehow in the future. It was held at a local coffee shop called Brew Nerds which has a great concept of "nerdiness". There, along with my mocha, I observed some truly artistic minds working together to generate ideas for upcoming issues of the magazine. I kept pretty quiet through the whole thing, but talking isn't really what I do best but it is something I am working on doing more of. I was given a few assignments to work on; three writing assignments, and a couple of research type things that interns do. Overall, I really love working there and being around those kind of positive, forward thinking people. Not only does it make my writing better it also helps me be my best and come with the best ideas I can think of, now that I know that someone genuinely wants my input.

Let Go

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)

2010 was the year that I let go of the pain I harbored for my ex girlfriend. She was my first love, she always will be, we still keep in touch from time to time, and that's it. I'm over it. *Drops the mic*

5 Minutes

December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

Here goes...
Ok, starting from the begininning, I competed in my first 5k race which was awesome, came in around the middle of the pack. Not bad for my first race. Hung out with Brittany more times than anybody ever in life. Had money problems, great Christmas by buying my own presents, nothing near last year though. Writer's block. Failed a class in the last semester, the semester before that, I got some of the best grades I had gotten in my whole college career. I was selected to go to Fort Lauderdale for the annual BEEP Conference, and the MBA Conference in LA, both were free for me to go which is always a plus. Got to see my friend from California while I was out there. Saw my other friend in Wilmington a couple times. Times up.
I think I hit most of the bigger things that happened during the year. Of course there are things I wish I had gotten out like being saved and having my religion being the biggest thing in my life for once. Other than that, friends and family pretty much invade my memories, and I'm perfectly OK with that. 

Core Story

December 31 – Core Story What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author: Molly O’Neill)


This may turn out to be short story. Certainly the longest post yet, for sure. Let's get to it.


The story that resides at the core of Mr. Jackson has to be the one that includes me, a girl, and a game I like to call basketball. This is not so much a story, but a series of events that caused me to lose the only two things I loved in the same year, sliding into a mild depression, and how I finally got out to the other side. 
I guess it all started when I agreed to play basketball for a somewhat crooked coach, while at the same time I was dating a girl that I eventually fell in love with (you can see where this is going). Long story short, fast forward 7 or 8 months later, the coach ended up screwing us out of a scholarship/money and my girlfriend screwed another guy. Not long after that, a good female friend of mine got a boyfriend and we eventually stopped talking. Then, I tried to bounce back from the basketball fiasco and play somewhere else, but the experience led me to believe that I was supposed to be doing something else with my life. Honestly, before 2008, I can't remember me being excited about anything other than basketball until I discovered the area of finance, which I'm pursuing in school right now. I sank into a state of depression shortly after this, never really happy or with any sense of hope for the future. Meanwhile, I had to go back home and go to school there, (I was in Florida before that) which only made matters worse. The way I came out on the other side, was prayer, friends, and finding other things I was interested in; things I could get excited about. Looking back, I feel like I didn't start living until I came out on the other side of that depression, because before that, I can barely remember details of life outside of the sport that once ruled my life. So to recap, the game is gone, the girl is gone, lost a friend, depression, got out, ok. And now, a couple years later, here we are. A new (still single) man with plenty of interests and a lot going for him and a bright future so I there's no way I can be mad or hold any resentment for the people that wronged me in the past, because everything happens for good reason and I'm beginning to realize what those reasons are. 


Well, that's about it, I believe that story has been brewing inside of me for the longest time and it feels amazing to finally get it out. Like really, you have no idea how good this feels; feels like a new beginning for me. 

Gift

December 30 – Gift Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? (Author: Holly Root)   


Last year (2009) myself and a friend of mine exchanged gifts over the holidays and it was great. 2010, we didn't get a chance to do that for whatever reason so I was stuck buying myself gifts which turned out not to be so bad. Just a few months earlier, though, I had the pleasure of meeting the Assistant Dean of the MBA program at Virginia Tech at a presentation my organization hosted. Before the presentation started, we got to talking and after he found out my favorite football team happened to be VT, he said he would try and get me something autographed by the team and I was shocked he would go out of his way to do this (I guess I have that effect on people). But after some (brief) consideration, he told me something that led me to think he was joking. He said he would send me an autographed mini helmet signed by none other than MIchael Vick out of his own personal collection. Shocked, I gave him my address shortly after the presentation was over, and sure enough, about a week later a small box arrived on my porch. Enclosed was  the mini helmet he promised along with a simplistic Christmas card which I still have. This was the most thoughtful (physical) gift I received last year.  

Lesson Learned

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)

The best thing I learned about myself this past year was when I do things that are out of my character or go against my ethics, negative things will begin to follow me throughout my day and cause me to regret what I did. I think overall, I have learned to be true to myself and listen to my gut feelings, because I'm getting to a point where I know what's best for me at this point in my life.

Soul Food

December 26 – Soul Food What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul? Author: Elise Marie Collins


The food I most remember from 2010, was a burger I had from Red Robin, mainly because I had never tasted avocado before in my life and the way it harmonized with the bacon and the other condiments, made it something that I will never forget and will crave until I can get back...

Wonder

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis)

Cultivating wonder is no easy task in these times where technology runs our lives. So naturally, it would take something epic to even begin talking about having a child-like wonder that we so often overlook. This past year, my wonder and curiosity has led me to start writing again, which is proving to be a good choice judging by the position I just received as an intern for a local magazine. It has also served as an outlet for me to reflect on 2010 and uncover things about myself I didn't realize was there. I'm extremely thankful for writing, not only as an outlet, but also for the artistic value it holds, and I hope to one day do this for a living in some element. 

Writing

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

Each one of my days is pretty well thought out, but there are things I might do every now and then that can be cut out or reduced to make time for stuff that would help my writing. Tv takes up most of my free time, so reducing that every day could make room for a brainstorming session. During that time, I could think about the projects I'm currently working on and the ones I have yet to start and ways to make them better. There are some unfinished projects that I could absolutely be working on, that haven't been touched in months for whatever reason. 

Achieve

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. (Author: Tara Sophia Mohr)

The thing that I most want to achieve this year is to pass all my classes and not have to repeat any, which could possibly delay my 2012 graduation. To do this, everything I have has to go into taking my classes seriously and making sure I do everything I can to keep my grades up. Anything that gets in the way has to take a backseat. Period. These next two semesters are critical, because I'm getting into my senior year (I still can't believe it) and after they're done, I just have one more, hopefully easy, semester and I'll be ready to walk across that stage. So this year, after I pass all these classes, it will be 5 years of accumulated weight being lifted off of my shoulders and I will be able to breathe a little easier. Free, would be a great way to describe it; something that I don't necessarily feel now. Being in college has made me feel less free, and not the other way around, as most people usually describe it. But that's an idea for another blog post. 


I hate lists, but I'll give this one a try...

1. Spend more time outside 
2. Run more
3. Spend less time in the house
4. Get to know more people
5. Cultivate the relationships I have now
6. Positive affirmations (I hear they actually work)
7. Engage in small talk with strangers
8. Stay in faith
9. Keep listening to amazing music
10. Keep my friends close

Everything's OK

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author: Kate Inglis)

The moment I knew everything was going to work out was when myself and my colleagues got to Los Angeles and I first stepped in the hotel room they had for us in the middle of downtown, across the street from the Staples Center. Looking around, I was entranced by the type of hotel room that you see on TV. It had a crazy modern feel to it and that's when I knew that if I was selected to be in a room like this, everything would be OK. In this year, I will try to capture more moments like that one. Ones that I know I will remember years from now like it was the day before.